Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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