Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
