hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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