I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He passed out mid-signature
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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