Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
