he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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