I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
