There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I party with great urgency now.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
