All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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