your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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