His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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