why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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