if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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