Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
