you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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