I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
