So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Help me help you realize you are a moron
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
