It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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