So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
