New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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