Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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