Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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