When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
