His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
