Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you had me at cake vodka
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
