I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
