didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just googled if crying burns calories
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
