apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
COCAINE IS GR8
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
