pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
where are my eyebrows?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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