I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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