I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
