Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i think i have herpe
just one?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
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