Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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