tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
