maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
