it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize