i just sent this text using only my big toe
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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