theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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