You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
