he puts the penis in happiness.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
