so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
