he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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