Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I'm always down for nudity.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
