That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize