can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
