We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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