Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
