Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
