suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
