I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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