I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Randomize
