you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
