I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
