You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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