Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
It's shark week go big or go home
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
