Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Oh god it's open bar.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize