Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
