idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Also, beer. Big fan.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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