Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
