All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Randomize
