people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
