Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
