yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
