Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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