I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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