I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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