My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
