I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Boobs are out for the taking
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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