How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
high people should be assigned attendants
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
