I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
