the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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