How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
