So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize