I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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