i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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