Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
